Live A Life...

You know that saying, "live a life of disappointment rather than one of regret"? I've always kind of liked it, but recently I've experienced a couple of minor things that really have taught me how true that is.

Last night, for example, I was taking a midnight walk around my block to clear my head, when I came across a couple great pieces of furniture out on someone's lawn with a "free" sign on them. They were small, simple, and would have been perfect set pieces for my show this spring (and to just have in general). I was amazed, and I almost just picked them up right then and there, but I was tired, it was late, and if my parents woke up and saw me in the backyard with a big table in my arms (they didn't know I was out), I didn't want to have to explain myself. Now it sounds dumb, but I just shrugged and told myself I'd set an early alarm and get them tomorrow morning. So this morning, surprise surprise-they're gone.

I know that if I had gotten them last night and my parents had found me or something else awkward would have happened, it would have been just that-awkward, for a moment, and then we would have moved on. I would've to trade in one awkward moment at 3 in the morning for a glorious table and nightstand that I can have for the rest of my life if I want. And now that I waited for no good reason: I have no table, no nightstand, and some regret.

I know, I know. What a dorky example. It is a silly thing to worry about in this case, and I could give you more serious examples, but I'll save the drama. I really do believe that though: "live a life of disappointment, rather than one of regret." In other words, go for it.

Chice

Relationship People

I'm starting to believe more and more that everyone is either a Relationship Person, or not. (A singles person?) Everyone I know seems to be one or the other. Aka, they either are happiest when in an actual relationship, or they feel claustrophobic in a relationship and they're only happy when they're completely free.

I have a friend, for example, who's "dating" a girl who's very much the latter. Whenever she's been in something that even resembled a relationship before, she immediately would get scared and end things. She doesn't get around tons or anything, but she absolutely can't ever be in anything that would be deemed an actual "relationship", or she'd freak out. She knows this about herself though, and has told my friend all about it. My friend, therefore, is currently bending himself backwards over trying to give her enough space to not feel like this is a "relationship", even though they're exclusive and see each other all the time. She can't be seen in public with him (then people would talk and they would be on some kind of official status), and they can't hang out alone for too long.

Now, I'm not judging this, her, or my friend in any way. It's not my deal, and therefore not my place to judge, but permit me a chance to at least say that it's a bit peculiar to me, a relationship person for sure. I've always kind of thought about myself this way, but I've very recently realized how true it is.

A relationship of over two and a half years, most of my high school career, ended a few days ago, and the last few days have taught me a lot about how much of a relationship person I really am. This was a relationship that I wasn't getting tons out of towards the end of things, and it ended mutually and civilly because we both kind of felt this way. Aka, we weren't right for each other anymore, and we both just felt like things had run their course. I felt fine for a day or two, but now I feel strangely lonely and empty, and I'm thinking tons about her and all of it.

How bizarre: I wanted out of the relationship (at least at times) when I was in it, and I really was okay when things ended. I've thought a lot about it, and this is my theory: I don't miss the relationship itself (or her in particular), but I miss a relationship. I think that I'm such a relationship person in general, that when I'm not in one I do feel lonely or empty in a way.

Now, I'm not as much a relationship person as my friend's (...girlfriend?) is a singles person. I'm not by any means one of those people who absolutely can't be alone and needs constant validation that way, but I do get lonely when I'm without someone I think, maybe more than most people. It's also possible this is just me dealing with the break up, I don't know. It's a theory...

Chice

DS: Headlines - Gaffe-In

Chice

More Death Penalty

Yesterday was a huge day at the Court: there was a great oral argument, and two interesting cases came down (one of which I discussed yesterday). The great argument was for Kennedy v. Louisiana, which asks if using the death penalty for child rape violates the 8th amendment's ban on cruel and unusual punishment. If at all interested, you can find the transcript of the oral argument for that on this page (the Oyez audio has yet to be uploaded).

Here are a few more links on the death penalty case that came down yesterday (crazy, that there's two in one day). They're posts off of ScotusBlog, the leading Supreme Court website run by constitutional lawyers.

Lethal Injection Allowed

Commentary: Praise for Baze

First Post-Baze Maneuvers

Baze Commentary: Going Forward

Baze Commentary: Protocol & Practice

Analysis: The Baze Sequels - A Single Pattern

Chice

Baze v. Rees

In Baze v. Rees, the Supreme Court, for the first time in history, heard constitutional challenges to the three-chemical formula that 36 states use to carry out the death penalty by lethal injection. The issue is raised by two Kentucky death row inmates, neither of whom faces an imminent execution date. Their appeal poses three questions dealing with their claim that the particular drug protocol causes unnecessary pain and suffering that could be avoided, and thus violates the Eighth Amendment ban on “cruel and unusual punishment.” The case does not raise the question of whether lethal injection is always unconstitutional; it is an attack only on a specific formula.

This case came down today-very interesting. Here are some links if you're interested:

Wiki

Post of SCOTUSBlog

Oral Argument

The opinion can be downloaded in this post.

Chice

Candor & Courtesy

Thomas Jefferson always regarded candor and courtesy as incompatible. Aka, one can usually choose between being honest and being nice, but not both.

Do you agree with him?

Jefferson had a tendency his entire life to simplify things into black and white, when naturally they are almost never that simple. This is probably an example of that: candor and courtesy are of course compatible in some situations, and when they aren't we all naturally go with on or the other depending on the situation. This begs the question though, how often do you go for candor, and how often for courtesy? How often are you honest with someone when you could have been a bit more polite or told them what they wanted to hear? And how often do you think one thing and say another?

I think a great deal of it depends on where you grew up. I've found that Midwesterners, for example, choose courtesy over candor much more than East Coasters do . In general actually, it's been my experience that the more urban you are, the more blunt you are, and the more small town/country you are, the more courteous and polite you are.

Neither way is inherently better or worse than the other; it's naturally just a cultural thing. But do you think one is superior to the other (most of the time). I know I'm inclined to favor candor over courtesy in most situations, having grown up in the Midwest (where people are very mannered, polite, and modest). These tendencies drive me crazy, and I have the time of my life any time I travel East and hear people talk the way I think they're meant to. So not all of it is completely related to your upbringing either. (Unless my dislike of all the courtesy is a subconscious rejection of my roots, a desire to grow up and be different than my parents. I do want this, but I don't think that's it. Think what you will.) It's also very possible then that we're all just wired too for one way or another. But look at me doing what I criticized Jefferson for doing: simplifying everything into black and white. It's of course a mix of your upbringing and your biology.

It's still an interesting question though, isn't it? What do you choose more often, candor or courtesy (when they are indeed incompatible)? Why?

Chice

SOTW: 4/14-4/20

Song Of The Week: "Stay Free" By Black Mountain




Chice

SNL: Daiquiri Girl

Chice

Come Back, "Almighty Physician"

Thomas Jefferson called the sun his "almighty physician". He said that pretty much no matter what was the matter, no matter what was bothering him, the sun would cheer him up and make things alright.

It's April, and it's still snowing here! I can't remember the last time it's been this crappy this late in the year. Everyone I know is pretty down, and I know I am. It really does go to show how powerful an impact the weather has on us, how at its mercy we all are.

Not really sure how I feel about that. It kinda sucks, because it means no matter what you do, in a lot of ways happiness is completely out of your control, but I guess that's always true to some degree, isn't it?

On the other hand, when the sun does finally come out, you'll also be much happier than you normally would have been. This brings up an interesting point I think. I have a friend who used to go to camp in the wilderness every single summer. Most people go to camp because they enjoy it in one way or another, but my friend did it for the exact opposite reason-it made him so miserable, that it made him appreciate the rest of the year so much more. This always made me really sad, and I still think it kind of is, but I do think there's something to the quality/quantity argument.

Still, the sun needs to come back. Now please? Sigh...

Chice

DS: The Meter Is Running

Part 1:


Part 2:


Chice