How I've missed you.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Monday, June 16, 2008
Excitement
I've had far too many cigarettes than is healthy to have in a day, nevertheless an hour, so apologies if this entry doesn't make much sense to you (or, in all likelyhood, me tomorrow morning). My head's spinning though. It's great. Try it.
Tonight during my routine (or not?) walk & smoke around my neighborhood, I was thinking about a lot of things, and smoking a lot of cigarettes, which made me think about more things (things that may or may not make any sense to a sane person). It was all a little random, until I finally made it back to my house. I was all ready to climb down my windowsill and crawl back into my room for the night, but I just didn't. Instead, I sat at the top of the windowsill and just looked around my dimly lit neighborhood, listening to the traffic off in the distance (which I love) and the quiet thumping of the neighborhood wildlife prancing around.
I sat there for quite a while. I kept looking down into my room, but I didn't crawl on down for the longest time. A practical voice in my head kept reminding me that it would be smart to go and get some sleep, which I'm not getting enough of, but I just didn't want to go down.
I'm not quite sure why, but I think it's just another indication that I resent being in my house. That's why I've started taking these walks at night (walks I seem to be blogging about a great deal); that's why I've started smoking; that's why I spend as little time as possible around my parents and sister. I'm just too old to be living in the same house as the family I grew up in.
It's true that I'm going to college in August, and that's the blessing of all blessings, but I'll still have to come back here for weeks a time throughout the year, and for months at a time during the summer. It isn't completely that my family and I don't get along and they make me resent being here, though that's all true. It's more that, quite frankly, I'm bored of the life I have here now. It's a life I've lived too long, and I'm ready to move on to something else. This sounds cheesy, but the life I have here is kind of the life of a child, and I need to not live that life anymore. I need a chance to be crazy, to be young, and that just isn't happening enough here. Sure, my friends and I get drunk (etc...) a fair amount, and I have fun with my girlfriend or in my free time, but there isn't enough madness in it all.
Basically, I can't fucking wait for college. It promises madness by the truckloads. It promises the thing I think that's lacking most in my current situation, my current rut: excitement.
Chice
Tonight during my routine (or not?) walk & smoke around my neighborhood, I was thinking about a lot of things, and smoking a lot of cigarettes, which made me think about more things (things that may or may not make any sense to a sane person). It was all a little random, until I finally made it back to my house. I was all ready to climb down my windowsill and crawl back into my room for the night, but I just didn't. Instead, I sat at the top of the windowsill and just looked around my dimly lit neighborhood, listening to the traffic off in the distance (which I love) and the quiet thumping of the neighborhood wildlife prancing around.
I sat there for quite a while. I kept looking down into my room, but I didn't crawl on down for the longest time. A practical voice in my head kept reminding me that it would be smart to go and get some sleep, which I'm not getting enough of, but I just didn't want to go down.
I'm not quite sure why, but I think it's just another indication that I resent being in my house. That's why I've started taking these walks at night (walks I seem to be blogging about a great deal); that's why I've started smoking; that's why I spend as little time as possible around my parents and sister. I'm just too old to be living in the same house as the family I grew up in.
It's true that I'm going to college in August, and that's the blessing of all blessings, but I'll still have to come back here for weeks a time throughout the year, and for months at a time during the summer. It isn't completely that my family and I don't get along and they make me resent being here, though that's all true. It's more that, quite frankly, I'm bored of the life I have here now. It's a life I've lived too long, and I'm ready to move on to something else. This sounds cheesy, but the life I have here is kind of the life of a child, and I need to not live that life anymore. I need a chance to be crazy, to be young, and that just isn't happening enough here. Sure, my friends and I get drunk (etc...) a fair amount, and I have fun with my girlfriend or in my free time, but there isn't enough madness in it all.
Basically, I can't fucking wait for college. It promises madness by the truckloads. It promises the thing I think that's lacking most in my current situation, my current rut: excitement.
Chice
Friday, June 13, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
No Laptop!?
So the year has ended; graduation has come and gone, and with it so has my school laptop, which I've had for the last two years. I wouldn't have thought this was a big deal, but turns out a lot of my life was on that laptop. Is this sad?
Two and a half years ago, when it was announced that every student would be required to use a school laptop, everyone freaked. Everyone thought it was a really fucking dumb idea, and we reluctantly took them at the beginning of our junior year. But two years with them have passed, and they've become a pretty intricate part of our lives. I check all my (four!) email accounts from the same application on mine; I visit all my favorite sites daily (which I can easily do because they're all bookmarked at the top of my web browser); and I keep various lists and word documents going on that computer continuously as things occur to me-very convenient (supreme court cases, or thoughts on my next show). It was all fucking great, and now I'm strangely lost without any of this convenience. I don't remember to check up on what the Court is doing, or see if anyone's emailed me, or update my blog (the most tragic of them all!). It's an oddly disorienting experience is what I'm saying I guess.
But is it also a liberating one? Over the past year, there have been only a couple of occasions when I've been completely deprived of electricity. The first time that comes to mind was a stormy day last July when the power went out in my house for a 24 hour period. I didn't have any electronics to entertain me, and most of my friends were out of town for the weekend. So what did I do? I curled up on the couch for hours and hours, reading a new book with a headlight that runs on batteries. It was an amazingly liberating experience for me-I hadn't had that much fun in ages. It was intellectually stimulating, and throughly enjoyable.
The other time that comes to mind took place last March when I was flying to New York to see some relatives and look at a few colleges. My dad and I were to take two flights: one from MN to Indianapolis, then one to New York. The layover in Indianapolis was supposed to last only two hours, but horrible weather (ah, a motif!) kept delaying our plane for an hour or two, and we ended up boarding our plane in the early hours of the morning, having been at the airport for almost twelve hours! Everyone that heard that story felt really bad for us, telling us that it must have been horrible being cramped in that airport for so long, but truth be told I had a blast. I didn't have my laptop with me, and my ipod was dead, so I did the same thing that I did during that storm in July-I read for hours and hours. This was also amazing and liberating. Being yanked out of my routine like that was a refreshing thing.
This all isn't a way of saying that I should read more, though I should and I'm trying to. That did seem to be a theme in those two stories, but the real theme was a lack of electronics. Without a computer, a tv or an ipod to mindlessly escape into, I had to resort to other things to entertain myself, and I enjoyed every second of it. That felt like real living, not the hours I spend playing xbox or WoW on my computer. I read a lot, talked to the people around me in great depth, and just thought endlessly. These last couple of days have been interesting in a similar way. It's a thought is all: what role do electronics really play in our lives? Is technology an improvement, or is it erosion? I'm beginning to suspect the latter.
I don't know though. It's a thought, is all.
Chice
Two and a half years ago, when it was announced that every student would be required to use a school laptop, everyone freaked. Everyone thought it was a really fucking dumb idea, and we reluctantly took them at the beginning of our junior year. But two years with them have passed, and they've become a pretty intricate part of our lives. I check all my (four!) email accounts from the same application on mine; I visit all my favorite sites daily (which I can easily do because they're all bookmarked at the top of my web browser); and I keep various lists and word documents going on that computer continuously as things occur to me-very convenient (supreme court cases, or thoughts on my next show). It was all fucking great, and now I'm strangely lost without any of this convenience. I don't remember to check up on what the Court is doing, or see if anyone's emailed me, or update my blog (the most tragic of them all!). It's an oddly disorienting experience is what I'm saying I guess.
But is it also a liberating one? Over the past year, there have been only a couple of occasions when I've been completely deprived of electricity. The first time that comes to mind was a stormy day last July when the power went out in my house for a 24 hour period. I didn't have any electronics to entertain me, and most of my friends were out of town for the weekend. So what did I do? I curled up on the couch for hours and hours, reading a new book with a headlight that runs on batteries. It was an amazingly liberating experience for me-I hadn't had that much fun in ages. It was intellectually stimulating, and throughly enjoyable.
The other time that comes to mind took place last March when I was flying to New York to see some relatives and look at a few colleges. My dad and I were to take two flights: one from MN to Indianapolis, then one to New York. The layover in Indianapolis was supposed to last only two hours, but horrible weather (ah, a motif!) kept delaying our plane for an hour or two, and we ended up boarding our plane in the early hours of the morning, having been at the airport for almost twelve hours! Everyone that heard that story felt really bad for us, telling us that it must have been horrible being cramped in that airport for so long, but truth be told I had a blast. I didn't have my laptop with me, and my ipod was dead, so I did the same thing that I did during that storm in July-I read for hours and hours. This was also amazing and liberating. Being yanked out of my routine like that was a refreshing thing.
This all isn't a way of saying that I should read more, though I should and I'm trying to. That did seem to be a theme in those two stories, but the real theme was a lack of electronics. Without a computer, a tv or an ipod to mindlessly escape into, I had to resort to other things to entertain myself, and I enjoyed every second of it. That felt like real living, not the hours I spend playing xbox or WoW on my computer. I read a lot, talked to the people around me in great depth, and just thought endlessly. These last couple of days have been interesting in a similar way. It's a thought is all: what role do electronics really play in our lives? Is technology an improvement, or is it erosion? I'm beginning to suspect the latter.
I don't know though. It's a thought, is all.
Chice
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Emancipation & Obama
I was reading the other day about a small period in 1790 when Congress (for the only official time, I think) had a few days of debate over slavery. Northern delegates argued that the institution of slavery was absolutely incompatible with the principles of the newly secured American Revolution, while Southern delegates argued that slavery was so woven into the fabric of American life that discussions of emancipation were irresponsible and unfair-they had only joined the union on the understanding that they would be allowed to keep their slaves.
But here's the thing: people who argued for emancipation never envisioned a biracial society. The newly freed slaves would be deported to either the relatively unexplored American West, or back to Africa. Any suggestion of any sort of integration into White culture would have been laughed out of the room. It would never have even come to a vote.
And now, a black man is the Democratic Nominee for President of the United States. Fuck that's fantastic.
Chice
But here's the thing: people who argued for emancipation never envisioned a biracial society. The newly freed slaves would be deported to either the relatively unexplored American West, or back to Africa. Any suggestion of any sort of integration into White culture would have been laughed out of the room. It would never have even come to a vote.
And now, a black man is the Democratic Nominee for President of the United States. Fuck that's fantastic.
Chice
Monday, June 9, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
The Peep Show
One of the funniest things I've ever seen. A British comedy. Here's the pilot episode:
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:
Chice
Part 1:
Part 2:
Part 3:
Chice
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